It’s been a week or so since I have written my thoughts and feelings, but I cannot hold it it anymore! I feel like I am in somebody else’s body and in somebody else’s life. I do not feel myself 100%. I haven’t even spoken to the God, let alone gone to church. That’s not like me. Nevertheless, it’s just frustrating to even watch people hold their babies at the store or see a teenage girl walking with a stroller, or see someone who just don’t care about having their own kids. I feel like I am in a big comedy skit and I am the punchline. I haven’t been feeling my best physically, emotionally, and mentally.
I really do think that the cloud of depression has been following me. I understand now how a person of faith, like the pastor the other day who committed suicide... he stopped believing in Hope. Without hope, you really don’t think things will ever change FOR YOU! And yes, sometimes those overwhelmed feelings can be a sign of mental illness, sometimes it’s a demonic spirit, And sometimes they can be simply be hormonal or it can be a combination of the three! Ahhhh! It’s one of the three for me, just not sure which one, but with weekly therapy, and hormonal therapy, I️ will find out!
I really do think that the cloud of depression has been following me. I understand now how a person of faith, like the pastor the other day who committed suicide... he stopped believing in Hope. Without hope, you really don’t think things will ever change FOR YOU! And yes, sometimes those overwhelmed feelings can be a sign of mental illness, sometimes it’s a demonic spirit, And sometimes they can be simply be hormonal or it can be a combination of the three! Ahhhh! It’s one of the three for me, just not sure which one, but with weekly therapy, and hormonal therapy, I️ will find out!
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