When I️ was 16, I️ had this boyfriend I️ was madly in love with. I️ really thought I️ was going to marry this boy. I️ had put so much trust and love into this boy that he really couldn’t do nothing wrong...until he did! I️ found out he was cheating on me with another girl and I️ was crushed. But what hurts the most was not the fact that he cheated, but the fact that my BEST FRIEND since grade school knew about it and didn’t tell. She could’ve warned me at least! But she sat back and watched everything unfold when it could’ve been avoided if she would’ve just told me. Today, I️ have a friend that has held back the truth from me. And that friend’s name is God.
I led with that story because it’s a very similar emotion I️ am having right now. I️ am mad at GOD! I️ feel betrayed. I️ feel disappointment. I️ feel all the things I️ felt when I️ was 16 and that was a totally different situation! But the underlying issue is that my best friend who I️ trusted to tell me the truth did not give me the information I️ needed to make an informed decision. Is that a fair assessment?
Here’s a glimpse into my most recent train of thought:
“You were supposed to be my best friend. You promised me you would show me things to come and warn me of danger. You promised me that if I️ just bring my tithe to the storehouse that you would rebuke the devourer for my sake. You promised me that I️ will not bare my fruit before it’s time! And I️ BELIEVED each and every last promise and I did not doubt! I️ trusted you, but I️ feel like you betrayed me. Every promise I️ held on to was broken when I️ lost my baby. Why didn’t you keep your end of the deal? I️ mean, you said you’re a Good FATHER, but I️ can’t even sing that song right now and be in my truth. I️ want to believe you are GOOD and that all things will work together for my good but the last time I️ believed in a promise you made, well, we saw how that ended....”
HELP ME TO BELIEVE AGAIN!
I led with that story because it’s a very similar emotion I️ am having right now. I️ am mad at GOD! I️ feel betrayed. I️ feel disappointment. I️ feel all the things I️ felt when I️ was 16 and that was a totally different situation! But the underlying issue is that my best friend who I️ trusted to tell me the truth did not give me the information I️ needed to make an informed decision. Is that a fair assessment?
Here’s a glimpse into my most recent train of thought:
“You were supposed to be my best friend. You promised me you would show me things to come and warn me of danger. You promised me that if I️ just bring my tithe to the storehouse that you would rebuke the devourer for my sake. You promised me that I️ will not bare my fruit before it’s time! And I️ BELIEVED each and every last promise and I did not doubt! I️ trusted you, but I️ feel like you betrayed me. Every promise I️ held on to was broken when I️ lost my baby. Why didn’t you keep your end of the deal? I️ mean, you said you’re a Good FATHER, but I️ can’t even sing that song right now and be in my truth. I️ want to believe you are GOOD and that all things will work together for my good but the last time I️ believed in a promise you made, well, we saw how that ended....”
HELP ME TO BELIEVE AGAIN!
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