The battle against depression

No one in my biological family has a history of mental, but I personally know people who has dealt with Depression, which led me to research it a little more. I am now almost 8 weeks postpartum and time is definitely healing my wombs, however there was just one area that was not healing fast enough and that was my mind.  The anguish and agony associated with grief is already documented to be one of the most intense emotions that a person can deal with. But when you are dealing with guilt in association with that grief it can spin out-of-control into a very dark place. That’s what happened with me.  I had a feeling that was beyond sadness. I had a guilt that was beyond hope. I felt hopeless for the first time in my life. Even when I lived in a homeless shelter at the age of 19, I had hoped that I would never be in that situation again and I haven’t. But this Feeling of hopelessness was unchartered territory. I knew that if I did not seek professional help, this could possibly turn out to be very similar to the Pastor Andrew story. 

 I will not be embarrassed about this. This is not “normal” in the black community. But for the past five weeks, I have been seeing a psychiatrist and therapist because I knew what I was dealing with was beyond grief. As a Christian, it is taboo to seek professional help instead of seeking the pastor or minister to “pray your depression away.”  You can be looked at as unspiritual, demon possessed, lacking faith, and so many other things.  That’s why many Christians do not come forward with their mental illnesses. And if you are in leadership,  it’s even harder for them because they should have “greater faith” than the common believer. 

This post is dedicated to all of the believers out there who may have dealt with or are currently dealing with challenges with mental health. It is OK to seek professional help outside of the church. I know this is not what you were expecting to hear, but some people go to college and study for years to help people like us. I believe that God can use these professionals to aide in the healing process.  I know I will get some backlash for that statement such as “God don’t need our help“ but if that really was the case, then we would have no use for hospitals, doctors, medicine or any other agent that has been used to facilitate healing. Think about it.